PINK

PINK

Hey guys! It’s been a little while since I published anything so I wanted to take a minute of your time to explain my absence from blogging. I originally posted this on Instagram to keep my explanation concise (as I tend to go a little overboard on here) but Instagram kind of killed the quality, so I’m reposting. It’s nice to have this space to express myself at whatever length feels necessary but sometimes it comes off as a bit labored and quite frankly, I’m tired of feeling overwhelmed by something that’s supposed to be fun and inspiring.

Here’s my news: I’m no longer labeling myself as a lifestyle blogger. Being away from my blog made me realize that when I started writing as a child, I wrote because I was filled with wonder about the world around me. My writing, as novice as it was, took what was already incredible about my life and augmented it into something even more beautiful and ineffable. It was at a very young age that I developed a taste for romanticism, although at that age I didn’t know what to call it.

My earliest “pieces” consisted of an almost identical adaptation of Lord of the Rings, a 20 page “novella” about dating Daniel Radcliffe, and a completely paraphrased article about Halloween. I hid the “novella” about Daniel Radcliffe from EVERYONE and somehow the paraphrased article about Halloween received great praise (I was in Kindergarten, enough said).

In middle school, my writing started to shift. I had my first “boyfriend” and started writing about my feelings through poetry. In fact, “boyfriend” and I never spoke because I spoke enough in my notebook for the both of us. Slowly, my poems turned into songs, taking the incredible to ineffable through symbolism and metaphors between (and sometimes, in) classes. Always writing, always symbolic. It was like a code I spoke with myself in a world no one but I belonged to. It was awesome.

Flash forward to my blogging/college days and you have yourself a quarter life crisis. No more wonder, no more symbolism. All academics, no fun. My life started to become more “practical,” as they call it. Dreams died, responsibilities mounted. I started writing less poetry and more papers. I thought if I wanted to write full time, it had to be profitable. Because that’s what grown ups do, they make money and eat out on Friday’s.

Despite everything, I always desired to return to my romantic roots and I guess that’s where I’m at now, returning shamelessly and enthusiastically to myself. Simultaneously embracing my individuality and defining it through the words I write.

It’s not that I don’t want to be a lifestyle blogger anymore. I love the idea of trying out and reviewing products but realistically it just doesn’t speak to who I want to be as a writer or who I am on the inside: playful with a big imagination and a hint of insistence that magic is real. It lacks that sense of symbolism that I crave and miss. A short stint, sure, but it’s not for me.

I call myself a hopeless romantic on here not because I’m blindly in love and hopelessly doting on someone, but because it’s senseless to ignore the part of me that WANTS to see the world through rose colored glasses. It’s foolish to deny the person who loves and covets romanticism, a place in my heart for the sake of practicality. It’s fatal even to stop being playful and imaginative. This is who I am, all grown up but still down to play with words and with the world.

With all that said, I have decided to rebrand my blog and Instagram to live alongside what is poetic about my life, not to replace it. I will slowly be restructuring this website to reflect that intention so don’t be surprised if you see a few changes. I want my world to be as ineffable as it was when I was young. I want it to emphasize the story, the fictional, the theatrical even. I’m still going to share products with you but it’s not my focus anymore, writing is. It’s time to look up at the world around me and see what I’ve been missing while scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.

Maybe someday, returning to myself will produce the success I’m looking for but until then, welcome to my world. It’s pink.

Love,

shawna.

The “I Don’t Have A Type” Tragedy and Other Thoughts on Falling In Love With Everyone I Meet 🌸

I used to think “having a type” was a strategy popular girls used to exclude people. Because from my end of the cafeteria, it looked as if they all had the same type: jock. I sat with the “popular kids” at my new school for a week before I found a solid group of friends I actually felt I had something in common with. However, even though I was happy with the friends I chose, I still had an issue with not being “cool” throughout most of high school. So much so, that I used graduating early and my intelligence as an excuse to run away.

I want to preface the rest of this by saying that I truly LOVED (and still love) my friends. In hindsight, they were the best thing that ever happened to me but as a high schooler, I didn’t completely see it because I struggled a lot with feeling accepted. I was in this constant inner war of wanting to be cool but also wanting to be authentic so I didn’t feel completely comfortable in either space. I missed a lot of opportunities to truly connect with the people around me due to my need for acceptance.

There was this one group of wealthy girls who seemed to have everything a high schooler would want: the perfect boyfriends, huge sweet sixteen parties, bonfires every weekend, and enough friends to fill a hundred future bridal parities. I wanted what they had, yet I openly mocked and rejected them because my fear of not making “enough” friends hung over my head. As Brené Brown 💕 would put it, “I engineered smallness” in my social life to avoid being rejected. Instead of feeling protected by this, I just felt left out. By not accepting myself and my life, I set myself up for constant FOMO and I’m still struggling with it.

If you’re anything like me
You’ve grown to hate your pride
To love your thighs
And no amount of friends at 25
Will fill the empty seats
At the lunch tables of your past
The teams that picked you last…
But Darling, you keep trying.

Taylor Swift

When I look back on it now, it’s clear that this is where my feelings of abandonment and rejection started. I could never understand why I felt that way in relationships because, despite everything that happened in my family, I never felt abandoned by any part of it. However, yesterday I was trying to figure out why I fall in love with every single person who gives me attention and I landed on the following reasoning:

  1. I have this weird aversion to having a “type” because it brings me back to the popular girls and the jocks. But I’m learning that “having a type” is about more than just appearances. Since I’ve never really thought about what works for me, I have no idea what I want from a relationship outside of “happiness.” A difficult expectation to meet, don’t you think?
  2. When I’m in a relationship, I put so much pressure on the person I’m with to accept me because I’m looking for them to fill “the lunch tables of [my] past” ten times over and make the importance of being popular in high school go away. I’m looking for someone’s acceptance of me to validate why I should accept myself.
  3. When I’m not in a relationship, practically everyone is fair game because I’m falsely “happy enough” with just keeping someone’s attention for longer than five minutes. I think “Wow, this has never happened before. Here’s my chance to finally conquer FOMO. They must be THE ONE!” Guys, I never said I had this life sh*t totally figured out. 😂
  4. I’m not willing to be vulnerable to make meaningful relationships and I assume the FOMO is deserved. In other words, I’m constantly wearing a shield of armor so I struggle to connect with people and then I wonder why I’m lonely. 🙄

To say this realization was a breakthrough is an understatement. This is HUGE for me. I finally understand why I feel rejected in my adult relationships and it only took 6 years of being out of high school to see it. But instead of feeling excited, I feel… weird?

That’s right, I feel weird. But why? Because telling you this brings up immense feelings of vulnerability for me. Normally when I talk about my social life, I try to mask my insecurities with perfectionism and strength. I put on my armor and hope that I can still reach the people who matter to me. I hope that if I can block out the rest of the world, the relationships I care about will be protected and perfect.

But the reality is this: you have to be vulnerable to be the best version of yourself. You have to take the armor off to protect the relationships you care about. Because if you don’t, you risk losing those connections. You risk seeking acceptance from every person you meet, rather than from yourself and the people who matter. And in your starvation for attention, you forget to identify what really works for you. You take everyone and everything because you thought “having a type” was a strategy popular girls used to exclude people.

Learn from my experience: don’t exclude yourself from your life. It’s not worth it.

Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world.

Jim Carrey at the 2014 MUM Graduation

Full speech:

xoxo, 

shawna.

Want #relationshipgoals? Find me on Instagram (@shawna__robertson) and follow this blog via email by clicking the subscribe button in the side bar for more content like this.

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When Love Is A Gamble, Bet On Yourself First 💗

There’s something about the entertainment industry that really excites me. Even when I was a kid, music and performing held a special place in my heart because it felt promising. I used to tell everyone I wanted to be a singer when I grew up and on some days, even as an adult, that’s still true. I ran around my best friend’s yard singing Jonas Brothers songs and I used to point to every passing plane wondering if Joe Jonas was on it while we swam in her pool. I’m not kidding. I was a Disney Channel loser but I loved every second of it.

As you can probably tell, my “heroes” were all popular performers when I was a kid. Some got their start on Disney Channel, others in Nashville. But the idea was the same: they made it. I practiced saying “Hi, my name is Shawna and you’re watching Disney Channel” more times than I’d like to admit and spent many summers watching Hannah Montana on my grandma’s floor.

I’m not sure if this ran nationally but I remember sitting by the radio ALL DAY one summer to hear a 30-second ad about Disney Channel auditions. Part of me was beyond excited but the skeptical part of me figured it was a scam. You can probably tell which part of me won that war. Hi, my name is Shawna and you are DEFINITELY NOT watching Disney Channel. You are watching me grow up to get a college education and work in an office for a living. Cheers!

Anyway, I’m telling you this because I wanted to write about something Demi Lovato mentions in her documentary called Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated that has shaped how I view love. If you’re unfamiliar, this Youtube Originals documentary first aired in 2017 and gives a raw look at Demi’s experience with fame. When I watched early last year, I was wowed by Demi’s story and her resilience. Despite her struggle, it renewed my love for music and performing. Her personal triumph reminded me that we are not alone with our challenges, even when our lives look different, and we are also stronger than what we give ourselves credit for.

Watching it again to write this, brought back all those feelings of promise and excitement so I knew this was the right direction to take the post in.

You can watch Demi’s documentary here:

At 37:18, Demi talks about her break-up with Wilmer Valderrama and she says: “I do have moments where it’s late at night and I’m lonely and I wonder if I made the right decision because love is a gamble.” I’ve been thinking about those words ever since I first watched this documentary and that’s what I’m going to talk about today. When love is a gamble who do you bet on?

I think we all reach the question of “should I stay or should I go” at one point or another in our relationships. I guess there’s a couple out there who “just knows” and “always knows” but I think it’s more common to have doubts crop up from time to time, especially as we go through major life changes. The way we handle these doubts, I believe, is what sets a strong relationship apart from one built on an unsteady foundation. Let me dig into that a little more.

When we ask ourselves “should I stay or should I go,” what we are really getting at is “will leaving produce better results than staying” or “is it worth the gamble?” In my experience, answering that question is less cut and dry than asking it because there are SO MANY variables. Every relationship leaves us with pros and cons lists but not every list we create helps us relieve the tension we feel when faced with these questions. When “should I stay or should I go” remains unanswered and the tension within us continues, we seek advisors.

Advisors come in several forms. We can find them on the internet, in our families, and among our friends. In my experience, when we seek out advisors, we hope that the information they provide will ease the conflict within. I think it’s safe to say, we have all experienced a run in with both positive and negative advisors when it comes to relationships. What sets good advice apart from bad advice is less about what is said but more about how relaxed it makes us feel and I think we could all work on giving suggestions that support rather than confuse.

So when love’s a gamble what type of advice can you expect to receive? In my experience, a negative advisor might say something like “well, if you have to ask, that’s good enough reason to leave.” And while this might be the silver bullet of wisdom one person is looking for, it’s not the best piece of advice one can give. Here’s why:

  • It places too much emphasis on the other person in the relationship and what they are doing.
  • It makes one party right and the other wrong.
  • It fosters more doubt where love, support, and a new perspective may be more effective.
  • It assumes you’re in the right mindset to use your intuition.
  • It nullifies the pros from your pros and cons list.
  • And finally, it doesn’t usually decrease inner turmoil. It just magnifies it.

For me, love should exist even in the presence of doubts. Relationships can’t be perfect all the time and at some point all couples will experience difficulties. It’s those moments where we wonder if it’s worth the gamble to stay or leave. I believe love is about seeing those doubts clearly and determining what course of action you can take that benefits both parties. Sometimes that means walking away, sometimes that means giving it time. In a relationship that is not abusive or toxic, coming to that conclusion should be intentional, not just a strategy for escape.

When someone’s only advice to us is to just throw it away, we become more, rather than less, conflicted. It reduces the relationship down to just the cons and keeps your focus planted on the other person and what they are doing wrong. I think what people are really getting at is: “what does your intuition say?” And while I think this is great in itself, I don’t believe your intuition is very effective if you’re not in touch with who you are.

So with that said, I think the best advice you can give someone questioning their relationship, someone who has recognized that there is a risk associated with staying AND leaving, is this: when love is a gamble, bet on yourself first. Everyday we have the opportunity to work on ourselves, to give ourselves the same love we have been giving others. When we are experiencing turmoil is when we need this reminder the most.

We need someone to show us the value in coming home to who we are and what we want out of our lives, regardless of what the outcome of the relationship is. We need someone to take the emphasis off of that other person, not add more confusion, conflict, and enemy making into the mix. Show the person in turmoil that regardless of what happens in that relationship, they ARE special and deserving of their own attention. Remind them that if they bet on their partner to come through and they don’t, they’ve lost not only the relationship, but also themselves.

Love IS a gamble but you’re more equipped to make the right decisions when you give to yourself first. Everything else will fall into place if your cup is full, trust me. So go out there feeling supported, in control, and faithful that everything will be okay. We deserve it!

xoxo, 

shawna.

For more, find me on Instagram (@shawna__robertson) and follow this blog via email by clicking the subscribe button in the side bar.

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A Quick Start Guide to Falling in Love Again 💕

If it isn’t obvious by now, my new niche is about finding love, building better relationships, and leading a romantic and spirited lifestyle that supports both efforts. I believe that many of us are not equipped with the tools we need to love and be loved because the mechanics of how they should work are not always explained to us outright. It’s taken me A LOT of less-than-graceful learning experiences, therapy, and self-help books to recognize a deficit for these skills in my own life and I’d like this blog to reflect my journey in acquiring them.

I still have a long way to go towards understanding love and the human experience but I hope my stories of heartache and triumph reach you with compassion and connectedness. Words have the power to change our experience and my goal for this blog is to impact you and your relationships positively through loving words, thorough research, fun reads, and engaging imagery. I believe we are all deserving of fulfilling relationships and I recognize the responsibility that rests with both partners to achieve that.

So to kick off this effort, I’m sharing my Quick Start Guide to Falling In Love Again because sometimes you have to put yourself in a new mindset to really appreciate the people around you. This guide speaks to, what I believe is, one of the greatest pleasures of being in a relationship: falling in love with the same person over and over and over again, despite your differences.

Here are 9 practices I recommend to quick start those good feelings you’re looking for in your relationships, INCLUDING the relationship you have with yourself and your life (more on that to come). Never stop falling in love… 💋

1. Be Grateful – I’m a firm believer that gratitude, especially when expressed, brings out the best in people. It also primes you to see what you have in a positive light and to recognize good fortune when it comes your way. If you see your relationships through gratitude glasses, there will always be an abundance of reasons to fall and stay in love. Glue them to your face if you have to.

2. Make Space – You don’t know you need it until you have it: space. The dreaded “S” word. I don’t mean to curse or anything but I’m here to tell you that making space is A GOOD THING. Seriously. Make space and honor it, even if it’s not a mutual decision. Recognize that “asking for space” is a healthy and loving way of saying “I want our relationship to continue but I need to be my best self for that to happen and this time apart will help me sort out who that person is.” A clear head is better than no head at all. Remember that.

3. Work On Yourself – One of the topics I’m most excited to address on this blog is about bringing your best self to your relationships. I plan on spending a GREAT DEAL of posts discussing how you can cultivate your best self to bring more fulfillment and joy into your life. I can’t wait to share my tips and tricks for becoming the greatest version of YOU in all areas of your life! Stay tuned.

In the context of falling in love again, here’s why it’s important: relationships are between two unique INDIVIDUALS. When you fall in love with your partner for the first time, you are very much separate and that’s captivating.

As time progresses and the relationship becomes more serious, things can get a little tangled. I believe that if you’re mindful of this, a tangled mess can be a beneficial thing because you see it as good chaos. It makes you smile and motivates you to continue pursuing your dreams but it doesn’t subtract anything from either individual in the relationship.

On the other hand, if you’re not mindful of how your lives are intertwined, a tangled mess can be VERY bad. You’re so thick in the mess that you can’t see a way out and you get lost in it. You forget who you are and the unique value you brought to your relationship is lost.

Remember: in love, two halves do NOT make a whole. Do the work that needs to be done and bring your best self to your relationships. I like to think of it like this: two WHOLE circles form a Venn diagram that overlaps in the center. Why be one circle when you can be two?

4. Know When to Hit the Reset Button and Go On Your Second First Date (Repeat A Million Times If Necessary) – I hate to say this but sometimes couples find themselves in a love rut. I know this because I have experienced it myself. I think what makes dating in the beginning so fun is the actual going on dates part. When life starts to get in the way of spontaneity and romance, it becomes difficult to keep up with and dates start to seem unnecessary. Know when you’ve hit this point and push the reset button. Go on your second first date and come back with a plan for making date night more intentional moving into the next chapter of your relationship. Just because you’re in the middle of your love story doesn’t mean you should stop dating your significant other!

5. Choose Praise Over Criticism – I never thought that I would become the person who used criticism to correct but I did and as common as it might be, I’m actually kind of embarrassed by it. When M 💕 and I met, I was in a really good place mentally. I had just come back from being abroad in South Africa and I felt really happy with who I was. I had somewhat of a spiritual revelation while I was away that made criticism seem very counterproductive to me. I was living by the Law of Attraction, practicing gratitude, and loving the life that was unfolding around me. I was like a little hippy.

And then I got smacked in the face by adulthood. Like full fist straight to the mouth. It totally knocked all the wisdom I learned right out of me and made me see everything through this lens of “not enough” and “beyond repair.” I honestly don’t know why I let adulthood kick my ass so much, especially with all the strength I’ve realized over the past few years, but it did and I kind of dragged everyone into it. I started being critical without realizing it. Out of desperation, I defaulted to ineffective means of facing challenges in my relationships.

Let me tell you this much, criticism without praise is NOT effective. Criticism to control is NOT effective. Criticism in general is NOT effective. It’s a short-term solution to a long-term problem better handled through acceptance and support.

I’m actually going to talk about this more in a post I have planned called “More Effective Relationships According to the Hawaiians” but for now the main take away is this: people will subconsciously move away from those who constantly criticize them. If you’re praying for solidarity and support in your relationship, make sure your actions match your prayers or you’ll lose it. Self-sabotage is real everyone.

Get ready for my upcoming post by reading the following book: Happy Me, Happy You: The Huna Way to Healthy Relationships.

6. Take It One Day at a Time – So quick confession: I am definitely the type of person who gets “intoxicated” by what they love. This makes me a fantastic candidate for a superfan but a pretty chaotic and sometimes overbearing partner. I have to remind myself constantly to pump the breaks and be patient.

I heard this great quote about marriage once and I believe it’s the key to understanding love and long-term relationships. It goes like this: 

“Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”

F.Burton Howard

So tell me, why rush if you intend to spend the rest of your life with this person? Why treat something that “grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by” like it is ordinary? Love’s a marathon. Stop treating it like a sprint.

7. Find More Effective Ways to Handle Existing Challenges – I think we all fall into the trap of blaming the outside world for our problems from time to time. We point fingers, we get upset, and we use ineffective means to overcome challenges in our relationships because we feel powerless. I find that when I reflect on ways I’ve been ineffective, I feel more loving and compassionate because I’m recognizing how I’ve contributed to a challenging dynamic.

Last year, I had the opportunity to attend a conference for women on motivation, leadership, and female empowerment. Keynote speaker, Dr. Michelle Rozen, shared her thoughts on productivity, change, building better relationships in the workplace, and being more charismatic. But one thing in particular keeps coming back to me from her keynote and it’s this: a dynamic in a relationship is built by two people and while it might be impossible to “fix” the other person, it’s possible and effective to change how we interact with them.

Fixing the dynamic rather than the other person helps us recognize where our efforts have been counterproductive in creating harmony and makes addressing issues in our relationships less like a personal nuclear bomb explosion and more like a simple math problem. Relationships really are a two way street, everybody!

8. Have Faith and Be Present – Perhaps cliche but totally true: everything works out for the best. If you’re going through hell in your relationship or just want to make it even better by falling in love all over again, you need this experience. It’s all part of the plan. Without it, you are also without wisdom. So have faith that everything will work out in your favor and be present to the lessons and love unfolding around you before it’s too late and the moment is over.

9. Rinse and Repeat – This one is easy. Anytime you are in a love rut, repeat these steps. Love is a practice you have to come back to, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. Show up for the people you care about most by falling in love with who they already are (again and again and again).

xoxo,

shawna.

For more, find me on Instagram (@shawna__robertson) and follow this blog via email by clicking the subscribe button in the side bar.

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P.S. – So much for a quick start guide 🙄 … this ended up being a lot longer than I expected. It’s mostly advice I distilled from my own experiences but I know it lacks the “story” that brought me to these lessons. If you are excited to hear the stories behind my life and relationships, stay tuned. More posts are a-coming! I’m so fired up about this new niche and I can’t wait to inspire you to build better relationships through this blog. Spread the love! Also, should I start a book club? I dig sharing book recommendations with you and I can’t wait to show you what I’ve learned from Happy Me, Happy You: The Huna Way to Healthy Relationships. Let me know in the comments!

BLOSSOM 🌸

What a stupid bug, trying to climb into the socket holes. The hot air moves inward and the heat in the house is sticky. I’m in need of an air conditioner and if we’re honest, a bit of free time to get my domestic affairs in order. But the weeks carry on and the weird days get weirder. As the sticky air gets stickier, the heat of Summer becomes a reality. Ugh.

There comes a time when you have to let go. You look around at all the ways you’ve tried to rectify your life and they just look futile and depressing. Actions you took out of hope haunt you and the potential of loss becomes real. In the face of despair, you see something clearly: what worked for your life before, doesn’t work anymore. It seems, as the heat weighs in, that this thought will color my Summer.

Weird days and heartaches, I’ve found, are our opportunities for growth. We can choose to transcend our past or we can become bound by it. We can forgive and take responsibility for how we’ve affected others or we can demand others suffer as much as we have in repayment for our heartache. We can blossom or we can drown. We can drag people under with us or we can love and elevate them in light of our suffering.

I never know if I’m making the right choice. But quite frankly, none of us do. It’s one of those similarities we hate to admit connects us. No one has all the answers, yet we judge and divide. We make “us” right and the “other” wrong. We make people pay the price for their mistakes a million times over, in ways we don’t even expect from ourselves. We defend, we justify, we create enemies. We forget we are all the same, our differences merely man-made. We neglect to recognize how similar we truly are, how capable every single one of us is to hurt and be hurt. No one knows what the right choices are and we all gamble. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

It might not seem like this on our weird days but I believe life favors love. Gamble enough times and it will come to the surface, whole and new as it always is. Love never leaves; it simply waits in the shadows to be embraced and understood. But too often, we ignore it and we gamble with heartache. We make choices we aren’t proud of and pray that they produce the results we are looking. We all pray for love but we harbor hatred and hurt feelings.

When we gamble with love, there’s more at stake. We put our whole heart on the line, we air out our vulnerabilities, and hope that the person we love, will return the favor. We don’t gamble with love more often because we are afraid. We don’t choose to elevate the people that have hurt us because we feel weak. We don’t choose love because, in our darkest days, it seems futile and childish.

This year has been full of heartache. I’d like to say triumph but I believe victory without love means nothing. We are not victorious when we are divided. We did not win if we gambled with hatred. Sometimes love is not about holding on but about letting go and seeing if you really did hit the jackpot. It’s about acting out of love, knowing that sometimes you have to close your eyes, jump feet first and risk it to get any sort of reward. Love is about having faith and choosing it over and over again, even on the weird and sticky days. Sometimes acting out of love is the only reward you get, as doors go unopened and calls unanswered.

I refuse to believe that love is about destroying the people you care about, dragging them under with your suffering and heartache. I refuse to let people who have hurt me harden my heart or make me believe that love is a series of dependencies, egg shells, and unspoken contingencies. It’s hard to admit and even harder to practice, but these “monsters” need our love the most. The beasts may crave hatred and suffering but I choose love, again and again and again and that’s a choice I’m confident in. Even when it goes unseen or unappreciated.

I believe that love is our greatest choice. In many ways, it’s the only choice that matters. We can either blossom in it or we can drown and call it “love.” From now on, I choose to blossom. What do you choose?

LOVE,

shawna.

Style Bootcamp: Planning My Spring/Summer Capsule Wardrobe (The ULTIMATE How-To Guide)

Style Bootcamp: Planning My Spring/Summer Capsule Wardrobe (The ULTIMATE How-To Guide)

Hi there! If you’re new here, this post is part of a series called Style Bootcamp. For more information, please click here. Enjoy!

In comparison with many of my fashion blogger counterparts, my approach to building a capsule wardrobe is closer to curation than it is minimization. Although I know part of the appeal of using a capsule wardrobe is reduction and simplicity, this post won’t speak directly to sustainable fashion or living with less. For this series, I’m COMPLETELY revamping my style so it’s likely I’m going to make a lot of mistakes and spend more money on clothes than I normally would.

That being said, I still think there is great value in using minimalism to structure our closets… but not in the way you think.

In my opinion, minimalism is not about owning nothing but about owning intentionally. It’s this never-ending process of ensuring that all the “things” present in our lives provide value and purpose, even those “things” we can’t see or touch. So for me, building a capsule wardrobe is less about reducing the number of items in my closet to exactly 35 and more about purposefully curating pieces to match the essence of the style I want to have. In that sense, the minimalism part is just about eliminating what’s in excess of that essence

Continue reading “Style Bootcamp: Planning My Spring/Summer Capsule Wardrobe (The ULTIMATE How-To Guide)”

5 Tips for Hosting a Housewarming Party Without Losing Your SH*T

5 Tips for Hosting a Housewarming Party Without Losing Your SH*T

Wow, what a weekend. I feel like it’s too soon to be Sunday night because Saturday literally felt like a blur with all that planning and partying. Although I’m a little disappointed that tomorrow is Monday, I’m SO happy with how my housewarming party turned out and I’m already planning more parties in this apartment. Well planned parties are kind of my thing, considering I’ve been “planning” them since I was a kid. Every birthday party we had, whether it was for my brother or myself, I carefully “planned” alongside my parents. I had everything laid out in my little notebook: the type of candy, the quantities, the guest lists, and so on. I kind of dig being in charge, even if it’s only in my imagination as a six year old and on a piece of notebook paper no one will ever see.

Anyway, with that said, I wanted to give you five tips on planning your own housewarming party that are easy to implement but make a HUGE difference in the outcome of your event. Having people at your home for the first time can be TOTALLY stressful since you don’t really know what to expect. It’s a new place with a different vibe, maybe challenging parking, and perhaps one or two barren walls. But it can be amazing nonetheless and I want you to use my housewarming party as an example of how cleverness and effectiveness can go a long way.

Continue reading “5 Tips for Hosting a Housewarming Party Without Losing Your SH*T”