What a stupid bug, trying to climb into the socket holes. The hot air moves inward and the heat in the house is sticky. I’m in need of an air conditioner and if we’re honest, a bit of free time to get my domestic affairs in order. But the weeks carry on and the weird days get weirder. As the sticky air gets stickier, the heat of Summer becomes a reality. Ugh.
There comes a time when you have to let go. You look around at all the ways you’ve tried to rectify your life and they just look futile and depressing. Actions you took out of hope haunt you and the potential of loss becomes real. In the face of despair, you see something clearly: what worked for your life before, doesn’t work anymore. It seems, as the heat weighs in, that this thought will color my Summer.
Weird days and heartaches, I’ve found, are our opportunities for growth. We can choose to transcend our past or we can become bound by it. We can forgive and take responsibility for how we’ve affected others or we can demand others suffer as much as we have in repayment for our heartache. We can blossom or we can drown. We can drag people under with us or we can love and elevate them in light of our suffering.
I never know if I’m making the right choice. But quite frankly, none of us do. It’s one of those similarities we hate to admit connects us. No one has all the answers, yet we judge and divide. We make “us” right and the “other” wrong. We make people pay the price for their mistakes a million times over, in ways we don’t even expect from ourselves. We defend, we justify, we create enemies. We forget we are all the same, our differences merely man-made. We neglect to recognize how similar we truly are, how capable every single one of us is to hurt and be hurt. No one knows what the right choices are and we all gamble. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
It might not seem like this on our weird days but I believe life favors love. Gamble enough times and it will come to the surface, whole and new as it always is. Love never leaves; it simply waits in the shadows to be embraced and understood. But too often, we ignore it and we gamble with heartache. We make choices we aren’t proud of and pray that they produce the results we are looking. We all pray for love but we harbor hatred and hurt feelings.
When we gamble with love, there’s more at stake. We put our whole heart on the line, we air out our vulnerabilities, and hope that the person we love, will return the favor. We don’t gamble with love more often because we are afraid. We don’t choose to elevate the people that have hurt us because we feel weak. We don’t choose love because, in our darkest days, it seems futile and childish.
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