I used to think “having a type” was a strategy popular girls used to exclude people. Because from my end of the cafeteria, it looked as if they all had the same type: jock. I sat with the “popular kids” at my new school for a week before I found a solid group of friends I actually felt I had something in common with. However, even though I was happy with the friends I chose, I still had an issue with not being “cool” throughout most of high school. So much so, that I used graduating early and my intelligence as an excuse to run away.
I want to preface the rest of this by saying that I truly LOVED (and still love) my friends. In hindsight, they were the best thing that ever happened to me but as a high schooler, I didn’t completely see it because I struggled a lot with feeling accepted. I was in this constant inner war of wanting to be cool but also wanting to be authentic so I didn’t feel completely comfortable in either space. I missed a lot of opportunities to truly connect with the people around me due to my need for acceptance.
Continue reading “The “I Don’t Have A Type” Tragedy and Other Thoughts on Falling In Love With Everyone I Meet 🌸”
There’s something about the entertainment industry that really excites me. Even when I was a kid, music and performing held a special place in my heart because it felt promising. I used to tell everyone I wanted to be a singer when I grew up and on some days, even as an adult, that’s still true. I ran around my best friend’s yard singing Jonas Brothers songs and I used to point to every passing plane wondering if Joe Jonas was on it while we swam in her pool. I’m not kidding. I was a Disney Channel loser but I loved every second of it.
As you can probably tell, my “heroes” were all popular performers when I was a kid. Some got their start on Disney Channel, others in Nashville. But the idea was the same: they made it. I practiced saying “Hi, my name is Shawna and you’re watching Disney Channel” more times than I’d like to admit and spent many summers watching Hannah Montana on my grandma’s floor.
I’m not sure if this ran nationally but I remember sitting by the radio ALL DAY one summer to hear a 30-second ad about Disney Channel auditions. Part of me was beyond excited but the skeptical part of me figured it was a scam. You can probably tell which part of me won that war. Hi, my name is Shawna and you are DEFINITELY NOT watching Disney Channel. You are watching me grow up to get a college education and work in an office for a living. Cheers!
Anyway, I’m telling you this because I wanted to write about something Demi Lovato mentions in her documentary called Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated that has shaped how I view love. If you’re unfamiliar, this Youtube Originals documentary first aired in 2017 and gives a raw look at Demi’s experience with fame. When I watched early last year, I was wowed by Demi’s story and her resilience. Despite her struggle, it renewed my love for music and performing. Her personal triumph reminded me that we are not alone with our challenges, even when our lives look different, and we are also stronger than what we give ourselves credit for.
Continue reading “When Love Is A Gamble, Bet On Yourself First 💗”
One thing technology has definitely changed is romance and dating. We no longer wait days or weeks to talk to someone. With cell phones, everyone is always available. Portable phone technology has changed how we communicate with each other and has drastically altered our expectations for our relationships. Because everyone is “always” on and available to talk, we expect our relationships to move quickly and satisfy us around the clock. Texting has become one of the most widely used forms of communication and technology is only making people more and more accessible to each other. We crave immediate communication and use it to measure our level of fulfillment because that’s what’s normal.
If you grew up with technology like I did, it’s sometimes difficult to put how we communicate with each other into perspective. Flirting via text message is commonplace for us; communicating often and daily with your significant other is expected. We know of no other way. However, I think it’s important to remain self-aware of how our behavior is changing due to technology and how it can deteriorate our relationships. It’s not enough to mindlessly use our devices and let our new expectations run/ruin our lives.
When we go through difficulties in our relationships, these strange new expectations become glaringly obvious. Every moment staring at the phone feels like a lifetime. We expect change, forgiveness, and love immediately because that’s how we communicate. As we adapt to the new world, we have to see technology for the tool that it is and use it mindfully to support and nourish our relationships. So on that note, here’s a few things to consider as you navigate a rough patch with your significant other in the digital world. Continue reading “Love in the Digital World: How to Make it Through a Rough Patch in Your Relationship in 2018”